I'm not sure how to explain this... It's nice that you, my friends, lovers, readers and followers occasionally read about me, as a person. I sometimes post about my personal life... the ups, the downs.
It's the downs that I don't like posting quite as often. But it's the downs that hit me the hardest.
...I might be getting help soon.
You can pretty much figure out what kind of help...
Counseling.
Why, you ask? Well, the average teenager goes through their ups and downs daily, mood swings, they call them. But let's just say that my swing stays low more often than it should. And my nervous train is on permanent wreck. Sometimes, more often than not... I can't control my fears, my thoughts... I try to stay happy for you guys. For the sake of the blog, my family, friends and those around me.
Yes, I might have anxiety and/or depression.
To you who know me personally... I hope you don't read this. I know you will, but I hate to make you worry.
I'm not sure what to feel anymore. Everything I do is analyzed afterwards. One of the only times when I'm truly happy is when I'm with Blue Eyes (of course), Mermaid, and Troll. I rarely hang out or talk to my other friends.. the ones by my locker. I feel like a bad friend for doing so but.. I feel like I don't have much to talk about with them.
I don't cry as often as I used to. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's not. I don't really know anymore.
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