Being Gifted

I've been thinking about this A LOT lately.

Being "gifted". And how this affects who I am.

Yes, I am gifted. Say this with some sort of bittersweet pride, with a sense of thankfulness for having been born with something that others admire. But I also say it with a sense of shame, a sense of regret... because the very fact that people admire and wish they were gifted... as nice as a complement it is.. I don't like it. Some admire you, some are jealous, others despise you for being gifted, for being "smart"...but they don't really know what being gifted really is.

Call me ungrateful, call me cocky. I don't care, I don't intend to be.

So what is "gifted"? What does being gifted mean? I'm starting to think that "gifted" is an inappropriate term for us "gifted" kids, that immediately sparks a stereotype in their minds, and sets us up for unrealistic expectations, which is completely unfair yet is the very thing that some of my teachers, peers, and adult friends do. Let me give you a definition so you can get an idea of what it really is.

"Gifted individuals are those who demonstrate outstanding levels of aptitude (defined as an exceptional ability to reason and learn) or competence (documented performance or achievement in top 10% or rarer) in one or more domains. Domains include any structured area of activity with its own symbol system (e.g., mathematics, music, language) and/or set of sensorimotor skills (e.g., painting, dance, sports)."

-NAGC (National Association for Gifted Children) 

And highly gifted people...

"...Those whose advancement is significantly beyond the norm of the gifted where advancement refers to aptitude or potential rather than performance.... Lists of common traits of highly gifted children include a capacity and predilection for complex reasoning, need for precision, facility with abstract material and awareness of underlying patterns, ease with use of metaphors and symbols, and early grasp of the essential element of an issue.

-JSGE (Journal of Secondary Gifted Education)

See, we are not child geniuses. Not all of us, at least. Some people can be gifted and instinctively learn a lot of things, and they can be smart through rote memorization. But it is one thing to "know" things and another to "understand" them. I hate to sound condescending and I hate to make it sound like I'm special or something... but it really is just being different that makes us different, and nothing else. You can't put specific personality traits and apply them to all of us, or say that we're all smart in a specific area such as math or that we all have the same likes and dislikes. You simply can't reduce all of us to specific traits and factors and group us all into one.

Yet I've been reading up on comments and opinions from gifted kids and somehow I feel like I relate to all of them at once.

I understand one of the parts of me that makes me gifted is my need to constantly analyze any and every situation, to think about the past and the future and to think about what I want to do and what my purpose is.

And the more I read, the more I find that existential depression and giftedness very often go hand in hand, and that it is very likely that I am one of these people. Especially now, during my teenage years with everything coming down on me at once, and not really having a lot of gifted people to talk to makes it hard.

An article from a blog I read: 

"'James T. Webb explains, "It is because substantial thought and reflection must occur to even consider such notions, rather than simply focusing on superficial day-to-day aspects of life.” Thinking abstractly, especially about complex theories and questions, like the meaning of life is what gifted individuals are known for.'"

And In my mind, I'm just like: YESSSS, FINALLY, I UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE DO SEE THIS. I mean, I feel like I've known all along but to see it in print and to be able to read it and physically acknowledge that the facts are there...

It's such a great and hopeful feeling.