Um... What do I do?

I think this guy knows I like him. Either that or he thinks it's all a joke, which is why he kind of plays along. I have very low self-esteem. I'm not sure whether this guy likes me or not. A lot of signs tell me he does, but there's always this sort of voice in my head that keeps telling me that no one will ever fall in love with me. No one I like enough, anyway. I hate it. Everytime I try to get close to a guy I really like, he either dismisses me as weird, tries to be nice about it or just sees me as a friend. I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for anyone. My friends, sure they're great. And having a boyfriend isn't everything. But when other girls have more luck in the ways of teenagehood, I can't help but feel like a failure sometimes. And I hate and am afraid of the fact that I constantly put myself down like this, that I can give advice to others but fail to follow my own advice, that I might never find someone. And that that voice keeps telling me that my chances with this guy are slim to none. There may be other guys out there, but I am fixated on him. I can't go out with someone else when I'm so hung up on him; it wouldn't be fair to the other guy. And everyone in my science class, I feel, is either trying to help me out with him or just really enjoy making things uncomfortably awkward for me.... I don't know their intentions... I don't know what to do from here. Do I want to leave it like this for a while? Do I want to tell him and risk our friendship? Do I want to risk losing the those girlish thoughts that he might like me by being crushed with a definitive no? Will the chase be over? Will things be awkward and will I suffer heartbreak like I did with someone else?  These are the thoughts that consume my mind and my heart, on a day-to-day basis.

This other person.... let's call him far from perfect. (To my friends who know this guy, pun intended) He follows my every single move. He's always copying whatever I do, is behind me all the time, trying to get my attention. Whenever I sing a song he sings along with me. He always butts in to my conversations and say the most irrelevant things. It's really weird. I feel kind of like a jerk for ignoring him sometimes, because he's an outcast of society. This is the guy who had "fought" with some cocky fit-in that is in my P.E. class. I don't know what to do about his stalking and as much as he gets on my nerves, I bundle it up inside myself and carry the frustration inside me.

So... yah. *shrugs shoulders* What do I do, fellow friends?

This song is cute. I found it blarghignag cheesy and sweet and the only reason I'm putting it on here is because I am 16 Going on 17 and my crush is 17 going on 18. Lol >.< I'm a loser.