the life of michelle: The storm and today's events

Monday, August 27, 2012

The storm and today's events

So... the streets are flooded. We have to travel by gondola to get around.

I don't ever recall moving to Venice.

Oh well. There was no school today, AND THAT MADE ME DEPRESSED...

I HONESTLY DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT TELLING YOU THIS, BUT I MISSED A PERIOD AND MY EMOTIONAL SELF IS READY TO BREAK DOWN.

I'm afraid of college, afraid of all my friends leaving soon, afraid of what I want to do with my life and afraid of being afraid.

But on the bright side, it's likely that I get to talk to my favorite person tomorrow and it's TUESDAY tomorrow, and you know what that means.. ;) Actually no you don't because it's a private thing...

SO HA. YAY INSIDERS.

Pftt insider. God, I'm just overflowing with perverseness today and NO YOU DONT GET TO HAVE ME.

I went to the mall and it was less interesting than I remember it. I walked around, and inside my head kept judging the rich and materialistic people around me. Bleh. Feelin' out of place sucks. But then I saw some weirdoes from my school so we just ran around and freaked people out and derped around.

I was hungry, but then I ate like literally 3 bites of chicken teriyaki and then I was full... I think I'm going to die of starvation.

I need to start being more of a BAMF and less of a whining weenie.

So let me just contradict myself and complain about things:
• I want a boyfriend. And not just any one. I'm hung up on someone I can't have right now and it sucks.
• I can't believe just 2 months ago I was happy and positive and didn't want to go back to school. Now I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and see the people I love in the hallways.
• I wish I could always sit next to my friends.
• I have no friends in math, and I can't sit next to the people I want to sit in history. You know who you are.

Ugh. Table flip.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Now the good things:
• I like someone.
• Like really like someone.
• Even though we're not going out, I enjoy his/her presence.
• I always have this blog to come to as a refuge. I'm really happy to have made this, and S. for being the first in the blogging revolution in our circle of peeps.
• Every night there comes a time when the moon is high and my reasoning low and I'm alone and I think about life. And although I'm never going to be sure of what happens next, I'm really thankful for what I've learned so far and hope that I can continue learning and loving and being me.

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Song Quotes

"We'll all float on."
"Sometimes all I really wanna feel is love. Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry. Sometimes my feelings get in the way of what I really feel I needed to say."
"And we will never be alone again, 'cause it doesn't happen every day... kinda counted on you being a friend. Can I give it up or give it away? Now I thought about what I wanna say, but I never really know where to go so I chained myself to a friend, 'cause I know it unlocks like a door."
"My gears, they grind more each day, and I feel like they're gonna grind away. And the city blocks, they drive me wild, they're never ending, mile after mile. I just don't know what to do, I'm too afraid to love you."
"It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.."
"Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try."
"I'd rather be a comma, than a full stop."
"We all need somebody to lean on."
"Someday, I will be strong enough to lift not one, but both of us."
"Nothin' lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change."
"I took my love down to violet hill... There we sat in snow. All that time she was silent still, said 'If you love me, won't you let me know?'"
"Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?"
"If you're lost you can look and you will find me... time after time. If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting... time after time."
"If every second counts on a clock that's tickin', gotta live like we're dying."
"At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon... trying to get to you. In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too.. Or am I a fool who sits alone, talking to the moon?"
"Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing.... you are perfect... to me."
"I want love to roll me over slowly, stick a knife inside me, and twist it all around. I want love to grab my fingers gently, slam them in a doorway, put my face into the ground."
"But I'm a freak, I'm a weirdo... What the hell am I doing here?!? I don't belong here..."
"You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like heaven."
"I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved..."