Genius and Madness

As I've noticed: There is no genius without a bit of madness, and no madness without a bit of genius.

Here is an interesting article about that.

Quotes on Sunday

I know it's not yet time for Tuesday quotes because it is, indeed, Sunday.

But here are some notable quotes that I am loving right now.

Good Greetings, A Plea For Forgiveness

Good greetings, dear readers, I do thank thee for visiting this site once again.

Alas, I hath not posted much recently.

I for thy forgiveness; I beg thee to have compassion for those who are busy and cannot post as much as they usually do, such as yours truly.

I've been speaking with an eloquent tongue recently. You'll find this post to be quite bombastic, perhaps arcane to those of you who do not indulge in Shakespearean literature as often as I do. I do find it quite disheartening that many of my peers cannot comprehend the Anglo-Saxon way of speaking with as much ease as I do, and show no interest in pursuing further knowledge and expanding their vocabulary.

I do apologize, those of you who are more experienced and knowledgeable in the ways of speaking will likely find faults with my sentence structure.

But of course, this post must continue on. I shall make up for thy troubles by sharing a few words with thee.

Words coined by William Shakespeare:

• accommodation (Othello) 
• accused (n.) (Richard II -- first known use as a noun, meaning person accused of a crime)
• addiction (Henry V / Othello)
• admirable (several; seems unlikely)
• advertising (adj.)(Measure for Measure; in context, means "being attentive"; the noun was already in use)
• aerial (Othello)
• amazement (13 instances; first known use as a noun)
• anchovy (I Henry IV; first attestation in English of the Spanish word for dried edible fish)
• bandit (II Henry VI, actually "bandetto", the first attestation in English of a familiar Italian word for people "banned", i.e., outlaws)
• bedroom (A Midsummer Night's Dream, merely means a place to sleep on the ground)
• cold-blooded (King John; first use to mean "lack of emotion")
• coldhearted (Antony and Cleopatra)
• countless (Titus Andronicus / Pericles)
• critic (Love's Labour's Lost; Latin term)
• distasteful (Timon of Athens)
• embrace (I Henry VI; first use as a noun)
• excitement (Hamlet / Troilus and Cressida; both times as plural; first use as a noun)
• fashionable (Timon of Athens / Troilus and Cressida)
• half-blooded (King Lear)
• hint (Othello, first use in today's sense)

Well, there are plenty but it doth be quite tiresome for me to search for more.

Diagrams

Well.. this makes me happier... I am in violation of numbers 1, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 10. -_-

tin foil hats. lol.

I don't know my coffees. I just drink.

I just wish I could hug every cat.

I'm one of the first to go... -_-

...but.. but the FOODS. THEY ARE MADE OF TASTY.

I am so making this someday.

Graphs, Graphs Everywhere.

Courtesy of icanhascheezburger.com

Another Thankful Monday

Just a quick runthrough of how I've felt over the past few months, from stress and frustration, to anger and depression, to fighting for a change of view to thankfulness.

Say HI OR SOMETHING!

I am very sorry for the lack of consistent posting. My life is predictably unpredictable...

If that makes sense- Did that make sense? Yes, it did. I'm going to say it did and move on.

At first I was kind-of hoping to start a political war in the comment section, but I don't think there are enough people consistently around to keep the conversations going.

Hopefully more people will come out of their turtle shells or their garbage bags or from under their rocks or whatever it is you kids hang out under nowadays and-

JUST SAY HI OR SOMETHING, you internet LURKERS!!!

Alphabet Soup

I am quite bored.

lkjdsajhcrwxlhrmeowqezasjljdlfcksdjxa
alkdsxlomroaiuewrwaoerupwetuprewuctwepewep
sakuynerxiytowueworimqoszxiow

Yup.

Here are some pictures of alphabet soup, spelling things out for you.

Because it's very normal for your soup to speak to you.

Happiness

Everyone has the right to be happy. Some more than others. Some have to fight for their happiness. They have to work hard to find it, and to keep it. To others, happiness comes naturally... easily. What might seem like a big deal now will not in time, and what might not matter to you now could be a big deal in the future. I can't tell you to not worry, everyone worries. I can't promise you that things will be better. You can only fight to make things as good as possible, and if you want to give up, don't. Take a break, take a moment and look at what you have now. Try to find one thing that makes you happy, and fight to keep it. One thing is for sure: happiness will eventually come.

9/23/2012

Being Gifted

I've been thinking about this A LOT lately.

Being "gifted". And how this affects who I am.

Yes, I am gifted. Say this with some sort of bittersweet pride, with a sense of thankfulness for having been born with something that others admire. But I also say it with a sense of shame, a sense of regret... because the very fact that people admire and wish they were gifted... as nice as a complement it is.. I don't like it. Some admire you, some are jealous, others despise you for being gifted, for being "smart"...but they don't really know what being gifted really is.

Call me ungrateful, call me cocky. I don't care, I don't intend to be.

So what is "gifted"? What does being gifted mean? I'm starting to think that "gifted" is an inappropriate term for us "gifted" kids, that immediately sparks a stereotype in their minds, and sets us up for unrealistic expectations, which is completely unfair yet is the very thing that some of my teachers, peers, and adult friends do. Let me give you a definition so you can get an idea of what it really is.

"Gifted individuals are those who demonstrate outstanding levels of aptitude (defined as an exceptional ability to reason and learn) or competence (documented performance or achievement in top 10% or rarer) in one or more domains. Domains include any structured area of activity with its own symbol system (e.g., mathematics, music, language) and/or set of sensorimotor skills (e.g., painting, dance, sports)."

-NAGC (National Association for Gifted Children) 

And highly gifted people...

"...Those whose advancement is significantly beyond the norm of the gifted where advancement refers to aptitude or potential rather than performance.... Lists of common traits of highly gifted children include a capacity and predilection for complex reasoning, need for precision, facility with abstract material and awareness of underlying patterns, ease with use of metaphors and symbols, and early grasp of the essential element of an issue.

-JSGE (Journal of Secondary Gifted Education)

See, we are not child geniuses. Not all of us, at least. Some people can be gifted and instinctively learn a lot of things, and they can be smart through rote memorization. But it is one thing to "know" things and another to "understand" them. I hate to sound condescending and I hate to make it sound like I'm special or something... but it really is just being different that makes us different, and nothing else. You can't put specific personality traits and apply them to all of us, or say that we're all smart in a specific area such as math or that we all have the same likes and dislikes. You simply can't reduce all of us to specific traits and factors and group us all into one.

Yet I've been reading up on comments and opinions from gifted kids and somehow I feel like I relate to all of them at once.

I understand one of the parts of me that makes me gifted is my need to constantly analyze any and every situation, to think about the past and the future and to think about what I want to do and what my purpose is.

And the more I read, the more I find that existential depression and giftedness very often go hand in hand, and that it is very likely that I am one of these people. Especially now, during my teenage years with everything coming down on me at once, and not really having a lot of gifted people to talk to makes it hard.

An article from a blog I read: 

"'James T. Webb explains, "It is because substantial thought and reflection must occur to even consider such notions, rather than simply focusing on superficial day-to-day aspects of life.” Thinking abstractly, especially about complex theories and questions, like the meaning of life is what gifted individuals are known for.'"

And In my mind, I'm just like: YESSSS, FINALLY, I UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE DO SEE THIS. I mean, I feel like I've known all along but to see it in print and to be able to read it and physically acknowledge that the facts are there...

It's such a great and hopeful feeling.

A few random thoughts

• I think Sharpies smell good. And chlorine and glue... I am not a druggie.
• I can be pretty ghetto. No one believes me, though.
• Why do my girl friends think I'm cute. Stahp guyz. :P
• WHY CAN'T I BE A LLAMA
• I JUST WANT ALL THE PEOPLE TO BE ABLE TO SPELL CORRECTLY
• I want Play-Doh in every color of the spectrum.
• I also want a music slave.. Really badly. I'm serious.
• I need to go on a nature walk.
• We need Smell-o-vision to come out soon guys. Otherwise Food Network is just torture.
• I haven't danced in the rain for months. This needs to happen soon.
• WHY ARE MAROON 5's SO SEXY I CAN'T-
ASDFFH:;KLAG;SFAA:FKHA

Okay. Sorry for that.

This is a good feeling. I'm finally gaining control of my life again. I might see a counselor soon, I have a great boyfriend by my side to keep me strong, and I'm actually (somewhat) keeping track of schoolwork and club things and Junior year isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

This is my year. We are taking over, dear readers.

Music poem

When Music Takes Over
Hear your song.
The feeling rushes through your veins
Making its course through your body
And the thumping of your heart and beat of the song become one.
The melody expresses itself through your limbs
and flows out your hands and feet
Your body sways, your core shakes
The music takes over
The song swells inside.
You are no longer you.
You are the song within you, every note, every lyric pulsing out of you with great force.
You become lost in yourself
And music takes over.

Getting Help

I'm not sure how to explain this... It's nice that you, my friends, lovers, readers and followers occasionally read about me, as a person. I sometimes post about my personal life... the ups, the downs.

It's the downs that I don't like posting quite as often. But it's the downs that hit me the hardest.

...I might be getting help soon.
You can pretty much figure out what kind of help...
Counseling.

Why, you ask? Well, the average teenager goes through their ups and downs daily, mood swings, they call them. But let's just say that my swing stays low more often than it should. And my nervous train is on permanent wreck. Sometimes, more often than not... I can't control my fears, my thoughts... I try to stay happy for you guys. For the sake of the blog, my family, friends and those around me.

Yes, I might have anxiety and/or depression.
To you who know me personally... I hope you don't read this. I know you will, but I hate to make you worry.

I'm not sure what to feel anymore. Everything I do is analyzed afterwards. One of the only times when I'm truly happy is when I'm with Blue Eyes (of course), Mermaid, and Troll. I rarely hang out or talk to my other friends.. the ones by my locker. I feel like a bad friend for doing so but.. I feel like I don't have much to talk about with them.

I don't cry as often as I used to. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe it's not. I don't really know anymore.

Castles

More picture posts. I've gotten really lazy to do any good written posts. If you noticed, I switched up the blog's look. Just keeping things interesting. Life's pretty alright if you ask me. School's not as bad as teenagers complain it to be, and I have someone to look forward to seeing in between classes...

this is me guise, lookin stupid and such.

Enough blathering.

Anyways, here are some castles, devoted blog followers. :)
BECAUSE ARCHITECTURE, WHY NOT.

This is what I do.

And this is what happens when I have a pen and decide to draw on the paper at the doctor's.

In case you can't see it properly, there are asdfmovie, Nyan Cat, and Gangnam Style references on here.
also, i played tic-tac-toe with myself.

Tumblr Quotes and Rebuttals

Hipster pics. Just because.

Still awake, here are some E-cards

past 4 AM, Monday, and I still haven't gone to sleep.
Eh. Life is average.

Here are some funny e-cards.

Classical Music Playlist!

I haven't done a playlist IN FOREVER.
MY MUSICAL SELF IS MAD.

It's National Classical Music Month.

This time, I'm gonna keep it "classy" (get it? cause, classical..? Okay. Leave me and my lame puns alone. -_-) and put some classical music I like.

Confessions

Aghh..
These segments are fun.
For you, not me, though.

I have a few things to confess, that may or may not be held against me by my friends later on in the week.

It's not like I go a day without being teased, after all. :P

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD!

I am going to make you drool on your keyboards now. Let me appeal to the masses and post pictures of popular dishes/foods. Continue reading if you dare. Vegetarians you have been warned.

So according to this graph, I'm a depressed genius but my IQ drops when I talk to people I like. Sounds about right.

Earliest known use of OMG

EL-OH-EL.

more awks for me, yay.

I'm going to be totally honest on this one.

Hopefully you still will read my blog and you know this is about you..or whatever...

Turtles. Turtles everywhere.

ASDFAFSALK I FEEL SO AWKWARD NOW WITH YOU HERE...

I dunno, like anything I say might make you think I'm even more weird than you already say I am. And not even in the cool way, if there even is a cool way to be weird... >.>

Like something I'll say will be wrong somehow and then you won't like me as much :(

It may sounds stupid to you but I'm a girl, so whatever... You matter to me. There. I said it. Smile your stupid, "I know, duh" smile, that is sweet, or whatever.

Otherfriend already bothers me at lunchtime about you. I don't even know how he found out in the first place but GAH I WILL SLAP HIM IN THE FACE IF HE KEEPS AT IT. Speaking of face-slapping, lol...

Snorlax was the first to know, obviously. 'Cause I'm just about as stupidly girly and excitable as any girl when it comes to this stuff, I went to her. But don't worry. It's not like I'm climbing to my rooftop at 11 every night and saying "I LIKE [your name here]" from a loudspeaker, while dancing the Hammerdance and wearing a top hat and wowthisisoddlyspecific, it's not like this is fact-

ASGSJAGHSLAH.

I'm still going try and be my usual hilariously amazing self on here and be weird, if you don't mind...

Oh wait. You don't. In fact, you like it. ;)

HA, I say.
HA.

STAHP and Harry Potter memes

UPDATE: OH MAH GAWD THIS POST HAS ONLY BEEN UP FOR A WEEK AND IT'S ALREADY UP TO ALMOST 100 VIEWS!! Thanks viewers! And if you like, please stay on this blog, share, comment, like! Plenty more coming!

A Lot of Work

WOW, fourth week of school coming up and I already have two things missing, am backed up with homework for the weekend and am joining Key Club and Chorus meetings are going to start up every week.

I can already feel the stress rising up on me. I mean, I've complained about not hanging out with friends last year and now this year, my chances of being able to see people are even smaller. :(

I'm going to try my hardest to be able to sneak in some free time and WE HAVE TO ARRANGE SOMETHING OR ELSE.

On top of already having high standards and high stress levels I am going to die of high blood pressure by the end of the semester.

Those who know me probably know (all too well) that I have no time management skills and low self-control and I GET EASILY DISTRACTED SO THATS WHY I'M ON THIS BLOG INSTEAD OF FINISHING MY DUMB HISTORY NOTES.

Don't scold me. :P

Hello creep.

If you're the first person to read this post then CONGRATULATIONS, I gave you the link. Stalk away. ;)

GO COLDPLAY! VMA!

I didn't even watch the VMA's but..

I Love Being Me!

I know I don't say this often on the blog... or in general.

If I did, I would sound really annoying and full of myself and... complementing yourself is awkward, I mean, who does that!?!?

BUTT. (Get it? There's a big but, but I spelled it with two T's... Get it...? Ha. Haha.)

Well hello there

Hi.

...You're looking fine today.

Come here often?

I don't care if you're a cannibal, we could still be friends.

Oh, so you cook?

Give me your coconut shrimp recipe.

We should be friends.

Haha, your scarf smells like chloroform!

Where are we?

I demand you give me back my scarf.

Why am I attatched to this lamp? ...Now I'm afraid.

UPDATE: Removing Posts

Hey guys, it's me, Experienced Novice.

So after a semi-serious talk and moment of joking around with C. and J., I've seriously considered and have come to a decision that I'm going to be removing some posts from this blog.

Not because anything is really SUPER TERRIFYINGLY EMBARRASSING or anything, but out of respect to other people's privacy and out of my own decision that this is really for the best, some posts will disappear and WOW, that means my "100th post" really isn't going to be my hundredth post AND NOW THE ORDER AND NUMBER OF THINGS IS ALL SKEWED AND UGH.

Sorry, readers.

I'm doing this in order to be able to share more random with more people, without all the drama and unnecessary snide remarks about my previous crushes or rants about people that they like but I don't.

no need to cry, though.

I'll still be here. A LOT. And I'm going to have more readers, stalkers, lovers, followers coming on here... So yay!

HOWEVER, in an attempt to make you feel jealous and less special, let me tell you this:
I shall be sending out emails giving permission to special people to be able to read all the "deleted" and "behind the scenes" content in another NEW blog.

SO HA. HA.

This is going to take a few hours, possibly days if I choose to prioritize and do my homework instead of working on this...

Such is the conflict of a teenager.

11:00 PM:
I chose this as a semi-priority.
SO. MANY. THINGS TO READ.
Thank God for CTRL+F.
Too bad you can't do that with a textbook.


12:12 PM:
 I think I'm just about done. Wow, about 40 posts, GONE. GONE FOREVER. You will never know...

Letter to S.

Dear S:

I know things are hard. I know things aren't fair. I know some people won't always be there for you. As much as you want them to be... they won't. I know sometimes it feels like the world is against you. I've been feeling like that for a while. I hate to see you upset so often. Your smile to me, has become of the most beautiful and adorable things  about you. I know you're trying your hardest to make it though all the bad times, and you've done well. You're a great person. You deserve more than what you've gotten.

I get to see you at school. I wish we could talk more, but we don't. I wish you could trust me more, but I know you have trouble trusting.

You're funny, sweet, and capable. I wonder sometimes why I didn't really get to know you earlier.
When you need me, look for me. And when you don't, look for me either way.

I care and worry a lot about you.

Excerpt of TFiOS

If you had to ask yourself what TFiOS stands for, then GET OUT OF YOUR CAVE RIGHT NOW AND GO TO A BOOKSTORE AND THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND HOW THERE SHOULD BE MORE LITERATURE IN IT.

...okay, I'm better now.

This book. I highly regret having passed the opportunity of pre-ordering it (meaning it also missed the chance of getting a book that was touched and signed by Green hands).However, I'm going to find and own one as soon as possible.

My blog is seriously lacking in book things, so I am posting an excerpt of The Fault in our Stars by John Green.

Tuesday Quote #2 and #3

I'm not exactly rich... and I'm not exactly over these blues... But I will keep fighting.

"Poverty entails fear and stress and sometimes depression. It meets a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts that is something on which to pride yourself but poverty itself is romanticized by fools."
-J. K. Rowling


"A lot of people don't realize that depression is an illness. I don't wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it."
-Jonathan Davis

honestly Dad, please.

Can someone please educate my father on how to be... Oh, I don't know, better?

You readers have the pleasure of reading an excerpt from my private blog:

Letter To You, E.

Well... I guess there isn't a wrong time or right time to do this, but I feel like now is a good time to do this.

...Wow, I don't even know where to start...
uhm....

OH MAI GAWD

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EVEN START BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW AMAZING THIS FEELS?!?!

IM SITTING HERE, SMILING AT MY COMPUTER LIKE AN IDIOT.

PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO ME, LIKING MY THINGS, AND I MAY OR MAY NOT GET A CHANCE TO SING WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE SENORITAS!

I haven't felt this much happy, genuine happy in days, weeks, maybe.
It feels great.

I don't want this to end :(

Waking Up

♪The best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup.♪

..I'm curious.

• At what times do you usually wake up, and why?
• If it were up to you, when would you wake up?

Answer in the comments. Don't be shy.

Questions

(based on the previous post)
How exactly does one reason less and feel more?

Why does the caged bird sing?

What is your favorite color of the alphabet at what time of the week?

Who is Experienced Novice, as far as you know?

Where is Waldo?

Why haven't I found my socks yet?

Answer these questions as you wish in the comment section. You can answer anonymously. Troll away, readers.

Not Sure

So after seeking and recieving closure and apologies from both a friend and myself, I decided to start over.

Today is Monday. A new day. A great day to start over. To be a good friend. To be a good person. To not dwell anymore on the things that have bothered me, and instead fight with all my human capability, against ignorance and self-torture, fear and questions that might never really be answered. I made a vow to myself a few days ago, and I've been trying my hardest to keep these promises.

I have way too much free time

^The above.

Lol I'm going to take cool pictures of South Florida. This will be updated later on in the day. :)

9:04 P.M.
Finally loves, I have picturesss :)

For those of you who live in Florida or anywhere by the beach, you're probably like, "pshaw who cares, sand", or maybe you live in Florida and wanted to go to the beach but you couldn't or you didn't, because you're not me.

Either way I say, BE JEALOUS.

Oh, Look.

Oh, look. Foolish 12 years olds, walking past my car, making nasty faces and flipping the bird after staring into my window. How intimidating.

Oh, look. A guy wearing a "drugs, sex, dubstep" t-shirt. How cool.

Oh, look. People getting mad at traffic jams, honking at everyone in front of them, as if that will clear the car crash that's ahead. How rational.

Oh, look. Nobody other than E. Has texted me today. How lovely.

Oh, look. Me in my van, awkwardly sitting here in silence as I blog from my phone, while the radio plays and my family is it's usual awkward self. How I love communication.

Gettin naked

It would be so much easier if people weren't perverts. If people could control their sexual urges, their lustful ways of thinking and everybody could be naked.

Getting better.

Hello readers!

Today I decided to totally switch things up.