the life of michelle: G

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

G

Okay this is an informal letter and yeah

I thought I wouldn't have to deal with you ever again. I tried to avoid you whenever possible with some success. I mean, I was (sorta) fine if I just saw you yards away because that means I wouldn't have to say a word to you.

But of course it's late at night and I'm just coming home, and who do I see as soon as I get out of the car?

Who, tell me who, none other than you walks outside their house JUST at the very moment the car parks and the doors open up?

It's like you just knew.

And I mean, you could go up to my mom, or my brother and ask them but NO, you walk right up to me.

I saw you walk my way and my instincts turn on and my heart starts to beat just a little faster and... are my lips dry? and in my head I'm going, "shit shit shit shit shit shit" and suddenly you're only 15 inches away from me and you ask if you could borrow something.

I, like the idiot I am, am too busy admiring you and damn, have you gotten a little bit darker and a little bit- wait- is that cologne I smell?

What did you ask for?

You repeat its name 5 more times until I finally come to my senses and spaz back and forth and
"oh right"
I dash upstairs to ask my dad if he has what you're looking for. He doesn't.

I run back down halfway and tell you what he told me
did you even hear me?
I go upstairs to check on stuff and you walk up, not too far behind

I'm not sure if I like this or not
BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE VIEW OF MY ASS YOU JERK
but maybe I like the attention
and as you're walking right past me to enter my own home like you own the damn place
you smell nice. is it for your girlfriend?

why am I jealous if I don't even want you
(or maybe I shouldn't want you)
and why do I want you
but you're not even my property

you think you're hot shit
and maybe you are

but you know what you can barge in to my house whenever you want
you know very well that you've got me all tangled up in my own lust
but you know what I'm going to play your game and beat you at it

HA.
HAHAHAHAA
I'M WEIRD.

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Song Quotes

"We'll all float on."
"Sometimes all I really wanna feel is love. Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry. Sometimes my feelings get in the way of what I really feel I needed to say."
"And we will never be alone again, 'cause it doesn't happen every day... kinda counted on you being a friend. Can I give it up or give it away? Now I thought about what I wanna say, but I never really know where to go so I chained myself to a friend, 'cause I know it unlocks like a door."
"My gears, they grind more each day, and I feel like they're gonna grind away. And the city blocks, they drive me wild, they're never ending, mile after mile. I just don't know what to do, I'm too afraid to love you."
"It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.."
"Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try."
"I'd rather be a comma, than a full stop."
"We all need somebody to lean on."
"Someday, I will be strong enough to lift not one, but both of us."
"Nothin' lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change."
"I took my love down to violet hill... There we sat in snow. All that time she was silent still, said 'If you love me, won't you let me know?'"
"Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?"
"If you're lost you can look and you will find me... time after time. If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting... time after time."
"If every second counts on a clock that's tickin', gotta live like we're dying."
"At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon... trying to get to you. In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too.. Or am I a fool who sits alone, talking to the moon?"
"Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing.... you are perfect... to me."
"I want love to roll me over slowly, stick a knife inside me, and twist it all around. I want love to grab my fingers gently, slam them in a doorway, put my face into the ground."
"But I'm a freak, I'm a weirdo... What the hell am I doing here?!? I don't belong here..."
"You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like heaven."
"I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved..."