Pictures.

Editor's Note: Whoa, this is from September 16, 2012. Maybe I do write too much.... Nah.


An exaggerated work of literary art by ExperiencedNovice:

Tomorrow is picture day. This is the day where the typical teenage female wakes up even earlier than usual, to make herself attractive not only to potential mates but also to a mechanical beast known as the camera.

The typical female fears not that her face will be immortalized, rather that something will go wrong, something like one of the following:

• it will rain down on her luscious hairdo
• her makeup will run down her face as a result of more rain
• she will trip on a curb and sport a lovely abrasion on her face for the rest of the week
• a dog will attack her face and destroy it
• a madman will do illicit drugs, and in his mania will hunger for human flesh, particularly hers
• her rude little brother will splash coffee in her face, in an attempt to wake her up
• her makeup will also run down because of this
• a lonely 40-year-old man will sneak into her room and steal all her clothes and makeup and hair accessories the day before
• she will smile awkwardly and/or look like one of the following of the following:
• a duck
• a constipated man
• a man
• a duckman
• a constipated duckman
• a serial killer

But your lovely lady, Experienced Novice, worries not about makeup and luscious hairdos.

No. She fears looking like a genderless homo sapien, for the third year in a row.