"Follow your dreams," they say.

I really wish I could practice acting more.

I was originally going to audition for the school play for next fall, but the fact that there are people who are actually in the drama class and have experience intimidates me... I'm not as attractive or charismatic like other people are. At least, I don't feel like I am.

All I have is myself, all I can do is practice in front of a mirror. I'll dance in my room, and choreograph entire ballets and dance-off battles in my head. I'll pick up someone else's flithy cigarette while walking down the street and imagine myself to be a cheap hooker, or sing and prance like a Disney princess on a sunny day, I'll switch moods in the middle of a conversation and smile to myself because I'm having so much fun with it, and I'll recite made-up lines from a movie that I'll never write... Gosh, I've tried so many times to write a short story, only to leave them half-done.

I already have chorus, though. My parents don't understand how much I really love the Arts. Sure I'm in Encore, and sure I've gone to Disney with my group to perform, and other high schools for our competitions, but I need to expand.

My mother says academics come first. But I'm not going to be happy with life if all I'm being judged on is how good I am at math, science, english and social studies and whether or not I have a job involving either of those. I'm an artistic person, and while others are happy pursuing whatever they're passionate for and being supported, I'm stuck, torn between finding some refuge in just English and Science and wanting to ditch all the "respectable" electives for "silly" and "easy" classes.

Over the summer, I'm going to make/sell (read as: try to sell) jewelry, continue learning German and give up on my dream of being in a band. With all the limitations of being an "irresponsible student" and having parents that are stricter than your grandparents, I can't say I'll do much for sure.

Hopefully Senior year will give me what I've been longing to have. Creative Writing, Chorus, Digital Video and Sound, Advanced Art and a Literature class should make this one of my best years.