POST-SECONDARY-PLANNING STRESS DISORDER

A link/gif/swear-heavy post by your very beloved, Experienced Novice.
(It is now going to be my life's mission to make PSPSD recognized by every scientific association)

Let's begin.

What is this thing called the college process?

HWAT.

The pressure of somewhat preparing for the remaining 4/5 placed on someone who is approximately 1/5 into their life is a heavy one.

Imagine not being halfway up a mountain, having to predict what path you should take to get to the top AND determine what paths will be available to you, which ones you like, and which you will take on your way down.

Pardon my French, but... pretty fucking ridiculous, right.

I'm fully aware that a large portion of the stress and pressure of searching and getting your shit together comes from my failure to organize things ahead of time.

But this isn't even fully about me. My parents didn't go to post-secondary school here. They have no idea about post-secondary graduation blah di blah and English isn't even their first language (or their easiest). So all those parents' workshops?

I don't mean to offend anyones' political preferences here, but you get it.

Also:

because why not.

So it's pretty much up to me to learn all the shii...take mushrooms there is to know about enrollment, fees, GPA's, testing, calculations, kind of colleges, 2-year, 4-year, etc., etc.. (so vague, I know) and I actually have practically no clue about anything or what the difference is between college ABC and ACB and ABCU and UAB and WHAT

I mean, high school itself is tough, man. Like I had no idea. When I was younger, I always thought to myself:

"You know what? I want to be really super amazing (as if being not super amazing was a choice for me, pshhhh) and I'm going to start so many clubs and organizations and make friends everywhere and spread happiness and equality and end world hunger and have education for everyone and make the world safe and I don't even care if I don't get medals or prizes. Simply being recognized as a peacemaker or just the satisfaction that I changed the world would be nice and omg I just really love people and animals and plants and yay Earth c: " 

By Jove, was I ambitious.



Now, it seems like laziness has gotten the best of me and I'm just counting down the days until I get to leave this putrid place full of (mostly) fake relationships and fake grades.



I know what I'm worth. Testing seems to show that I'm pretty good, but it doesn't show everything that I'm worth. And if life at home sucks, it's not really going to be easy to prove that I'm good. Sometimes I have my own stuff to deal with.

I mean, yeah, most times I try to go without complaining about every single thing that bothers me because nobody wants to be friends with that kind of person. I really wish it were easy to just pause, say, I'm too stressed, and just back away from everything that causes me even more stress.

I STRESS EASILY OKAY IT IS A PROBLEM

I don't know what I want to be. I wanted to be a psychologist, but now I'm not so sure. I wanted to join the Air Force, but I'm not sure I'll ever be able to pass the physical test (plus my dad doesn't want me to go. bleh.) I want to be a designer or a musician. But it seems like it's hard to find a good job in anything artsy that is steady.




I am so unsure of how to be a functional adult and I feel like adulthood is forcing its way in whether I want it to or not.

But hey, time stops for no one.

I just gotta figure out how to go.