the life of michelle: Comebacks to "Short" Comments

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Comebacks to "Short" Comments

I'll admit it: in my younger days (meaning less than 2 years ago and even still occasionally today) I wasn't so happy with who I was. My height was a big (oh, the irony. big. get it? ok, moving on.) problem in middle school. I was constantly teased and accused of being a midget and people would always hold things out of my reach. I didn't take it too personally, it was just annoying. I was always that little girl, the armrest, the 'git, etc. I eventually came to terms with my height (er-lack of) and accepted it as a part of me. It goes well with my personality, actually. So it's 1:00 or so in the morning and I am still on the computer, reading my favorite stuff on Sparklife and I found some pretty good comebacks that really would have helped me get through those years.

The Polite Shut-Down, The Swift ExitStranger: How tall are you?
You: Not very, obviously. Oh, look, there's a bowl of Jolly Ranchers over there. (Walks off wordlessly.)

The You've-Got-To-Be-Kidding-Me

Stranger: Ha ha ha! You're a medical midget!
You: (3-5 seconds of blank staring during which Stranger starts to fidget uncomfortably)You: Wow.
Stranger: What?
You: You know you said that out loud, right?

The Bitch-SlapStranger: Are you a midget, or just short?
You: Are you a diagnosed social idiot, or just a total jackass?

The Statement of FactStranger: Wow, you're short!
You: Y'know, no matter how many times someone says that to me, it never stops being incredibly rude.

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Song Quotes

"We'll all float on."
"Sometimes all I really wanna feel is love. Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry. Sometimes my feelings get in the way of what I really feel I needed to say."
"And we will never be alone again, 'cause it doesn't happen every day... kinda counted on you being a friend. Can I give it up or give it away? Now I thought about what I wanna say, but I never really know where to go so I chained myself to a friend, 'cause I know it unlocks like a door."
"My gears, they grind more each day, and I feel like they're gonna grind away. And the city blocks, they drive me wild, they're never ending, mile after mile. I just don't know what to do, I'm too afraid to love you."
"It's only in your head you feel left out or looked down on.."
"Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye. Remember me, once in a while, please promise me you'll try."
"I'd rather be a comma, than a full stop."
"We all need somebody to lean on."
"Someday, I will be strong enough to lift not one, but both of us."
"Nothin' lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change."
"I took my love down to violet hill... There we sat in snow. All that time she was silent still, said 'If you love me, won't you let me know?'"
"Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?"
"If you're lost you can look and you will find me... time after time. If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting... time after time."
"If every second counts on a clock that's tickin', gotta live like we're dying."
"At night when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself, talking to the moon... trying to get to you. In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too.. Or am I a fool who sits alone, talking to the moon?"
"Pretty, pretty, please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing.... you are perfect... to me."
"I want love to roll me over slowly, stick a knife inside me, and twist it all around. I want love to grab my fingers gently, slam them in a doorway, put my face into the ground."
"But I'm a freak, I'm a weirdo... What the hell am I doing here?!? I don't belong here..."
"You use your heart as a weapon, and it hurts like heaven."
"I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved..."

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Comebacks to "Short" Comments

The Polite Shut-Down, The Swift ExitStranger: How tall are you?You: Not very, obviously. Oh, look, there's a bowl of Jolly Ranchers over there. (Walks off wordlessly.)